Monday, June 11, 2007

A$$ Whole

Yes, I know I spelled it whole. I am on my way to Whole Foods this morning, as I had about a dozen children (over the course of the day) at my house and wanted to have plenty of provisions. I'm driving along and this Jag cuts me off. It was strange because he didn't just cut me off, he cut the guy at the front of the line at the next light off as well. He kept making a lane where there wasn't one and then accelerating when the light was green. And, of course, we end up in the parking lot together at Whole Foods (I thought for sure, he was on his way to save his children from a burning building because of the way he was weaving in and out of traffic).

I thought that was the end of it, and as I was on the phone with my best friend and the kids were at home with Allen, I said my few choice words to her instead of him. But no, a$$ whole, as he will forever be known, was in the blueberry section of produce. And he was opening every single freaking container of blueberries taking one out to taste test and then closing the containers up again, some of which he bought, but most of which he put back. And where exactly where his hands prior to his driving like a lunatic and picking through the blueberries for ripeness?

I admit wholeheartedly that I am a germ-a-phobe. I'm sure there is a real phobic name for this. I don't know it. What I do know is, I stood there and watched him open a ton of containers before he saw me watching and hastily moved along. I also know that I pulled a container from the bottom of a pile that his hands had not been on. The only way he got away with this was the fact that at 8 a.m., there were hardly any people shopping in the store.

Thankfully, he was out the door prior to me because I kept thinking, if we run in a third time, I'm just not sure I can contain myself.

4 comments:

handknitbyafailedfeminist said...

You must kill him. It is the only thing to do. And don't buy blueberries.

Holly of HollYarns said...

I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a jerk! Nevertheless, that was quite a funny story!!

aija said...

omg... I don't know what I would have done but stopped and stared in disbelief!

Larjmarj said...

I agree, what a steaming pile of pseudo-humanity. He should be put out of our misery.